This post has been saved as a draft since the beginning of January, due to the fact that I didn't know if I even wanted to post it. I have decided to go for it anyway, however I have omitted some of the more personal information that was originally going to be a part of it. I decided, at New Year, that this year I was going to keep a '2014 Jar'. The idea of this jar is that every time something happens this year that makes me feel happy, or excited, or just generally makes me feel good about myself, I will write it on a scrap of paper and add it to the jar. On New Year's Eve 2014 I will empty its contents and re-explore all of the amazing things that I have done in the year, and relive all of the wonderful memories. Unfortunately this is not an original idea - I actually saw a post on Tumblr which mentioned it, so I decided to give it a go.
The reason that I am doing this, is because every New Year, people I know (and usually myself included) spend the night moaning about how rubbish and miserable the year was, and how this one will be so much better. But the year has never actually been that bad, it is just that people only focus on the bad experiences that have taken place, and people forget the little things that just generally make life that little bit better. For example, yes I have a lot of exciting things lined up this year like road trips, concerts, and holidays, but so far the contents of the jar hold a lot of sentimental value personally to me. One experience which has found a place there is a text message that my best friend sent me. It was around a time when I was feeling quite down about myself, and my self-confidence had plummeted even low than normal. She sent me this beautiful message which made me feel so much better about myself, and it was so beautiful that, I am not ashamed to admit, brought tears to my eyes. So this is the point of the jar. Just to bring back the wonderful emotions felt throughout the year, rather than looking back with nothing but regret. Although there are only a few scraps of paper in it at the moment, I know that by the end of 2014 it will be full to the brim, because my aim is to make this year the best one yet, and to do that I need to maximise the positive feelings and my only way to keep track of those it to keep this jar dedicated to happiness. I admit that it is exceedingly cheesy and cliche, but that is what I like about this idea - everyone has positivity in their life, so I don't think it should be an original idea - I believe that everyone needs a 2014 jar - even if it is just a metaphorical one.
L xx
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1chTQ58a1Q Hairspray - Good Morning Baltimore
At the age I am now, I find myself suddenly sitting back from my increasing pile of revision, and I just sit, and contemplate my life achievements. I'm actually quite disappointed that my 'life experiences' can be counted off on one hand. Here are the only things I have done with my short life so far that I believe hold value that I will appreciate when I am older:
1. My National Age Groups 2012 win. I recently ended my competitive synchronised swimming career, however in December 2012 I competed in the team event among 9 other girls, swimming for Bristol Central. We did amazingly well, and claimed 1st prize, beating 14 other teams. I consider this a life experience because it shows that if you work hard for something (which we did - 12 hours a week for a year) then it can pay off and you can achieve your dream. It proved that even if something seems impossible, if you all set your mind to it then the outcome can be wonderful. Walking onto the poolside, about to begin our routine, I felt a sinking feeling in my heart, because before my eyes flashed all of the problems our team had faced over the last year - my ear infection, having to cut down our routine, and all other problems which involve getting 10 girls to swim a four minute routine, underwater half the time, with no goggles, staying in a specific pattern, and having to do all this precisely in time with each other. But to come out with 1st prize over all of England, Scotland and Wales, was one of my proudest moments of my life.
2. St Lucia. I understand that sharing my amazing holiday experiences on here could be seen as shallow and pathetic, however this was the most life changing of my holidays. For those of you who are culturally dumb (no offense intended) St Lucia is a small island, part of the Windward Isles, in the Caribbean, which stretch down the edge of South America on the East Coast. I was just 12 years old when my grandparents announced that they were treating our family to a holiday in St Lucia, so I was unaware at the time of the impact that it had on my life. I would like to share with you one of the encounters that we had with a resident of Soufriere, the closest town to where we were staying. We drove into Soufriere and drew up outside the town's only supermarket, but as we made
to open the doors of the car, a half-naked man with missing teeth and a severe skin infection rapped on the window. He cupped his hands in a gesture
that resembled a bowl and garbled at us incoherently, spewing phlegm all over
the outside of the window. My grandfather, wound down the window ever
so slightly, and the man pressed his lips, blistered from the sun, against the
gap. He repeated probably one of the only words he knew in English, ‘Dollars,
dollars, dollars,’ all the while with a plaintive expression on his face,
conveying the lost emotion of a man reliant on tourist generosity. My
grandfather slipped a five dollar note out of the open window, and we drove on,
struck to silence. Now, little did I know at the time, but many towns in St Lucia, such as Soufriere, are struck with abject poverty due to the lessening numbers of tourists on whom their income relies so solely on. Now, when I look back, I remember things that we saw, such as young children playing on the roads who should have been in school, and it hits me hard in the chest that they are so far away from help. This life experience taught me that although I take for granted my life now, I must remember to think about people in third world countries who do not have the same privileges.
These are the only experiences which I think have changed my life in more ways than just increasing my contentedness with life, which makes me exceedingly depressed. My main mission in life is to now try and find more of these experiences, so I can live my short life as much as possible, and make it the best it can be. You should too.
L xx
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrXIQQ8PeRs Nickelback - If Today Was Your Last Day
This is a topic that many a girl will ponder for a large proportion of their lives - namely the age I am now (16, for those who are new here). Now to us girls, boys are a completely alien species who work in ways contrary to our own, for example peeing standing up, walking around topless and going through puberty, which separates the boys from the men. When you are five, and you are told that these two completely different sexes actually fall in love, and marry each other, I'm sure most of us were a bit offended that this was our destiny. But when you get to your teenage years, hormones begin to have an effect, and the brain starts to tell you that you are lonely, and need a compatible mate to satisfy that loneliness. Now I myself (and I can say this, because you don't know me personally) have not had a boyfriend since I was 12 years old. TWELVE. And if I am completely honest, I'm not quite certain that playing kiss chase in the playground and daring each other to hold hands for a short period of time really defines "going out." But, as are the rules of primary school.
Before, I have always told myself that I will wait until I reach university to start seriously considering a relationship. But then I look at all of the happy couples around me and feel wistful that the only soul I can share my Ben and Jerry's with is my cat, who despite being a boy, does not quantify a boyfriend as such. I am generally a quiet person, but if I am friends with a boy, or I do not have a "crush" on him, then I find it quite easy to talk to him. I have several boys-who-are-friends, and joke and laugh with them happily. But if you put in front of me an attractive boy who I might have a tiiiny crush on, I instantly turn a nasty shade of raspberry and can only open and close my mouth like a fish out of water. Having completely humiliated myself, I then turn and walk away as fast as my legs can carry me. I experienced this first hand yesterday, when a boy new to the sixth form, let's call him Bob for this account, looked at me. Yes, you heard right. That's all it took. One look, and my brain went into overload thinking, "Is he thinking about me?" "Does he fancy me?" "Have I got something on my face?" "Does he think I'm ugly?" And of course while my mind is presenting me with these unwelcome thoughts, I am as usual looking like a patient from a mental institute. Oh, the joys of being a girl.
So this post is for all of the female adolescents who find themselves speechless when faced with the boy of their dreams and are unable to handle the incident at all well. Just be aware that you are not alone, that one day we will all find love and happiness with someone of the opposite/same sex. However for now, just embrace the single life and let the only men in your life be the ones on the posters on your bedroom walls!
Liberty xx
P.S From now on, in posts I am going to leave links to songs at the bottom which I feel are suitably matched to the emotions I feel when writing the posts. Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vx2u5uUu3DE - Bon Jovi - It's My Life.
Our lives are a series of journeys. Our days are made up of smaller, literal ones; going to school, on holiday, to the fridge to get some food. But our lives, in the bigger picture, are made up of longer, metaphorical journeys. We don't realize the importance of these adventures until we look back, because most are so integrated into our lives that we don't notice they are there. For instance, I am about to traverse down my most important path yet; the road to university and my impending career that will follow. I am trying not to take this decision lightly, as it will affect the rest of my life if done properly. However, I am also aware that I am 16 years old, and I have a long way to go yet before I enter the realm of adulthood, which will be when my career choice will be most needed. Everyone has their own journey and path to follow, everyone will have fluctuations of important times in their lives, but it is very rare that you will meander through your short spell on Earth with the same relaxed attitude that you adopt to choose what drink you would like with your meal. So, I ask you to consider; what journey are you currently undertaking, or preparing to undertake? It is important in life to step back for a moment, stop, and think about where you are heading. I have made the mistake over the last few years of living a relatively meaningless, trivial life where I exist in a cycle of school, homework and eating, but it's now time for me to evolve and escape my cosy cocoon. When I take the next jump in my life, I want to be ready for it, and leap on to the wagon to see where it takes me. I know this is a very short post, but just think about the message I am trying to convey, and how you can apply it to your own life.
Liberty xx
Books. How can a few hundred of pieces of paper bound together have an impact on someone's life? Fiction novels cover a wide range of subject matter, from sci-fi, to romance, to comedy, to loss and tragedy. I myself read all manner of things; anything whose cover catches my eye, whether I have heard of it or not, will find it's way into my shopping bag. The reason I, and probably most other bookworms read so much fiction, is because it is a world away from whatever angry, sad or messed-up situation we are currently in. When I take my bookmark out and carry on hungry engulfing this teeming mass of words, I lose myself in someone else's life, and in turn I learn so much more about my life. For example, when I read The Fault in Our Stars (for the fifth time) I was struck by how an author can so accurately capture the feelings of someone in such a different situation to 'the average person.' Whilst reading that book, after setting it down I just sat and thought about what I had learned, and I find it hard to drag myself out of that meditative slumber into the real world.
When people see me cry at a novel, they laugh and shake their head fondly. However I don't think they understand what sort of person I am in that moment, they don't understand that I am so engrossed in a book and I get to the point where I feel like I am the character, and I am a part of their world. And similarly to The Fault in Our Stars, when Augustus Waters died it was like a hole had been torn in my heart (I will never forgive you, John Green). The difference between films and books is that, even though you may cry at a film, that moment will be over as soon as the film finishes. You may feel sad for the rest of the day, but because you are only visually involved in the film, you don't feel any emotional attachment to the characters. But in a novel, you delve into the characters head, and when whatever brilliant author divulges the scene of tragedy or heartbreak which will inevitably come, you journey on that emotional roller coaster with them.
Bookshops are dying out. People are choosing, out of pure, unadulterated laziness on their part, to either watch the film adaptations, or to download books onto their Kindles. I for one will ever join in on the Kindle craze, purely because one of the things I enjoy about reading a physical book is that you can appreciate every effort that the author has put into that work of art. To me, reading something on a Kindle is cheating the author, because they were not designed to be that way. The best books deserve to have loving memories be created when reading them; several of my novels have been read so many times that the binding it splitting. But I don't mind, because every time I pick up that book to read it again I am transported back to the last time I read it, whether is was on holiday, or in the bath, or on the train. If you own a Kindle, I am not saying you shouldn't use it, because you should, everyone has a different personality and preference. I am just saying, when you hear of a story that you really love, go out and buy the book so that you can create eve more memories with it, because these are the things you miss as you age and mature.
On Saturday I went to the cinema to watch Frozen, the new animated Disney film in 3D, and, I can quite honestly say that it is the most brilliant, breathtaking, stunning film I have ever seen. I am a big fan of Mr Walt Disney anyway, and from this new array of films I didn't think anything could top Brave or Tangled. How wrong could I be? This film is so beautiful, and I advise anyone who can to go and see it. I am a huge fan of Idina Menzel anyway, as I am also into Wicked in which she plays Elphaba (The Wicked Witch of the West). Here is a brief synopsis of the film, for those of you who haven't seen it.
In the Kingdom of Arandelle, the King and Queen have two daughters, Anna (Kristen Bell) and Elsa (Idina Menzel) who was born with a gift which enables her to create snow and ice. Whilst building snowmen with her younger sister Anna, she injures Anna and is locked away in her room out of sight so that she cannot hurt anyone with her powers. Anna feels very alone as she can't remember what happened in the accident, so she can't remember about Elsa's powers. This loneliness is heightened when the King and Queen drown at sea, and Elsa is made Queen. At her coronation she gets frightened and uses her powers, shocking everyone at the party, including her sister. She flees into the mountains, alone and cold. Anna runs off to find her, befriending a mountain man named Kristoff, a reindeer and a snowman. When they find Elsa, they discover she has built a castle of ice into the mountain. Anna tells Elsa that she has set off an eternal winter, and Elsa yet again is scared, and when Anna tries to get her to come back down to Arandelle, Elsa shoots ice through her heart. Of course, the film ends happily, but rather than tell you the plot in its entirety I will leave it for you to find out.
The film is a musical, including several ballads from both sisters "Let it Go", "For the First Time in Forever" and "Love is an Open Door". Straight away after watching the film I bought the Deluxe Edition of the soundtrack, and I have not stopped marveling in its beauty since.
This is a link to one of the songs sung by Idina Menzel, when she runs away from the castle. Please take the time to watch it, and afterwards you will definitely want to go and enjoy the entire film!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moSFlvxnbgk
So recently whilst I was on a family holiday in Lyme Regis, I decided to investigate my extremely large pile of novels that I received for Christmas. Book are the one item that I will always discover in my presents, because my parents know that whatever they buy for me, I will enjoy it. This year, I specifically asked for several books, and over the next few weeks I will post reviews and opinions on each of them.
The first book that I asked for was 'The Fault In Our Stars' by John Green. I know that this book has been published for a while, but I wanted to wait until the excitement about it had died down before I read it so that I had the freedom to form my own opinions about it. Originally, I was worried that the novel wouldn't live up to my expectations, however I couldn't be more wrong. For those of you who are waiting to read the book, in the next part of this post I will give a brief synopsis of the book, so to avoid spoilers, please skip to the next paragraph. The story is about a teenage girl, Hazel, who is suffering from thyroid cancer (which affects the lungs) and whose condition, unfortunately, is terminal. However, a miracle drug has bought her a few years, and currently she doesn't really see much point to the life she is living. Every week she spends an hour at Support Group, where a gorgeous boy catches her eye. He previously suffered with osteosarcoma, and lost one of his legs. Soon enough, Hazel and Augustus (aforementioned hot boy) are flirtatious friends and talk to each other about everything. They share her favorite book, An Imperial Affliction, a trip to Amsterdam, and a rather steamy night. When they return from Amsterdam, a bomb drops. Augustus, who has been cancer free for a few years, confides in Hazel that the cancer has returned and has spread to most of his vital organs. In a truly heartbreaking scene, Augustus asks Hazel and his blind friend Isaac to read him their eulogies at their own, personal funeral before he dies. Soon enough, Augustus Waters takes his last breath.
At the start of the book, I was slightly irritated with Hazel. She had been told that she was going to die eventually, so why not make the most of her life, rather than wallowing in self pity? However, when Augustus appeared, I knew that was a turn up for the books. The Fault in Our Stars had me crying, laughing, and every moment in between. Having had someone very close to me suffering from cancer, it gave me a new outlook on the disease, and despite it's habit of making people quite ill, it also has the ability to bring people together in their hour of need. The story of a sufferer who journeys from knowing her end is near, to living the life she had imagined at last with the one she loved. When the tragic bombshell dropped, I am not afraid to say that I dropped the book and sobbed hysterically for an hour straight, as I am sure this was the reaction of many to the story. Jodi Picoult, author of My Sister's Keeper, calls The Fault in Our Stars "an electric portrait of young people who learn to live life with one foot in the grave," which I believe is the best summary so far. I don't believe any further comments can do this stunning work justice, so I will finish with some of my favourite quotes straight from the novel itself.
"I fell in the love the way you fall asleep, slowly, and then all at once."
"Maybe okay will be our always."
"My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations."
